I wonder why

January 13, 2010

I have no friends here?  I mean, I have quite a few friends, and a couple that are really more like family, and I talk to them on the phone constantly.  As for flesh and blood people right here in this crappy little town?  Heh.  I don’t even know my neighbor’s name.  I’m not sure why either.  I am usually very good about making friends.  Now, I don’t mean those superficial friends, the ones you go to the bar with but know nothing about.  Granted, I’ve got dozens of those, its kind of hard to avoid when you are out and about as much as I used to be.  Maybe thats the change.  I don’t go anywhere.  Ever.  Before my son was born, I never used to be home.  Ever.  To the metal show, from the show to the bar, from the bar to bed, work in the morning, repeat.  Or when I worked a 6 pm to 2 am shift, it would be to the club right after work (I lived in south Florida, any of you in major cities know the clubs don’t close till at least 4). Almost every night. If I wasn’t out partying, I was out exploring.  I’d just get in the car, pick a direction, and turn off on some road I’d never been down before.  Its amazing what you can find when you’re not really looking for anything in particular.

Well, I digress.  Got quite a bit off point there.  I guess the main thing is, I guess I’ve kind of come to realize what kind of person I am more since my son has been born.  Even on nights where I wasn’t out and about, there was a group of friends (These would be the real friends – and I mean group, there were like 12 of us – not the faceless bar drones) usually at my place, sometimes at one of theirs and we would just sit, talk, have a few beers, watch movies, play video games, whatever.  So, how this all fits into me?  I’m not really one of those people thats always running out looking for the new hot thing, but I like being around people and meeting people.  And, usually, drinking while I’m doing it.  I also like having someone to talk to when I just need someone to talk to.  Yes, yes, your spouse/significant other is supposed to be your best friend, but I’m not about to sit down with her over a beer or 12 and have a casual conversation laced with vulgarities and bitter invective.  Those are the kinds of things your friends are for.  Oh I miss them.

So, anyway, I had two points to make, and I just jumped back and forth between them so often that the overall meaning of this is probably lost to all but the most studious of you reading this.  Here’s the thing.  I don’t really care.  Here is what you can take away from this.

I miss my friends.  I love you guys, seriously, all of you.

I miss going out periodically.  Note, periodically.  It would be inconceivable to indulge in excess with a young child that I am playing role model to in the house.  It would be nice to get out every now and then though.

There is not shit to do here.  I hate it.  There is no Culture Room, no Factory.  I don’t think a real metal band has ever even come through here.

I think I mentioned this one already, but, I miss my friends.  I’ll probably be calling one of them and wasting their time when I’m done typing this.

To any who actually comes across this.  Enjoy your time with the people that you genuinely enjoy being around.  You never know what twist of fate will take you away from them or them away from you.  You can always keep in touch, but its not quite the same.

Lastly, I need a vacation from life.